Scary Church Signs

Ok, so I was driving down the road yesterday and saw a church sign displaying the following message:

"No mask can hide your sin from God."

True statment; bad use of church sign.

I guess since it's Halloween, this sign is meant to communicate, "Oh sure, you can put on your masks and eat candy and all that, but don't think you're fooling God! He still sees that you are a sinner. ...That's why you're wearing the mask, right?... To hide your sin from God?... Yeah. Well you can't do that. You're kidding yourself. That candy may be sweet, but hell is hot!....You... you...spawn of the devil!"

Alright, so maybe it isn't meant to communicate that. A Little exaggeration on my part, there. Chill out, people. Just having a little fun here. No need to get stakes and torches to storm my blog castle. :-) I'd hate to have to turn off comments here like Gary Lamb had to do after a post about fall festivals!

So anyway, I kept driving along and literally 4 minutes later I passed another church with the exact same phrase on their church sign!

Now that's scary.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: "The canned sayings have got to go."

[Disclaimer: I'm sure they are a great church with great people and I'm sure they mean well. I'm just talking about the issues, here, folks. We should hate the sign but love the signer.]

Suggestions For Better Church Signs

This post is the followup to this one: Here's Your [Church] Sign. (Please feel free to continue posting goofy things you've seen on signs as well as any that you think are great examples of good, positive, and effective ways to use a church sign.)

A funny cartoon from a few years ago showed two guys watching a grumpy pastor change the letters on the church sign. The caption underneath said, "I can always tell when Rev. Jones needs a vacation..." The pastor was putting up the message: "This Sunday's Sermon: Just come and find out, meathead!"

The silly thing is, there are a lot of church signs out there that don't really come across much better than that on a week to week basis. I have no ax to grind but I do have a few suggestions for better church signs.

These are not exhaustive and they do not provide all of the answers, but if you have a church sign, please consider the following before pulling out the little black letters and posting that next witty and pithy homily...

The obvious:

• Update your church sign regularly.

• Keep your church sign clean.

• Keep your church sign maintained - change the bulbs when they go out on the day they go out, trim the weeds, etc.

• If your sign is faded and weathered looking (Unless that's part of the design) it's time to replace parts or it's time for a new sign.

The apparently not-so-obvious:

• Determine who your sign is for and write for them. (Hint - If it's for your church only, send them a newsletter instead.)

• Think of your sign as a 24/7 personal billboard for your church, because that is exactly what it is. It is a "front door" to the community that tells them what's "inside."
  

• Be sure it's part of your PR/Comumication Strategy so it's not simply relegated to the maintenance person to come up with "clever" sayings.

• Think through how you will be received/perceived/heard by the people driving by. Ask, "What do we want to communicate about our church? Will it attract? Will it help create interest in what's happening at your church?
  

• Do not use the internet to come up with clever sayings to put on your sign.

• Do not use a "church sign book" to come up with clever sayings to put on your sign.

• Come to think of it, do not use clever sayings at all...It's like the person who tries to tell a joke that's already been told a million times and wasn't really funny the first time. They are usually tired, worn out and corny. And really, do you want to be known as the "clever sayings" church, anyway?

• Do not "slam the evil doers" on your church sign. You'll just reinforce the negative, judgmental stereotype impression that most people have about churches, anyway.
  

• Assume that everyone who sees your church sign has never been to church before. You don't have to "dumb down" to do this, just leave out the words and phrases that only church people would understand.

• Plan ahead so you're not tempted to just "throw something up there."

• It's ok to be funny, but you'd better really be funny. Get lots of feedback on something you think is funny before you put it on your sign. Ask people who don't go to your church. Generally, humor that smashes stereotypes about church are better than things like, "CH_ _ CH - What's Missing? U. R."

• When in doubt, promote upcoming events and programs that appeal to the community. If you're still drawing a blank, communicate the values and vision of your church.

• Bottom Line: If you wouldn't print it in a letter to the community, put it on the front page of the newspaper or say it in a televised interview, don't put it on your sign.

I know that most of the time, churches do not intend to come across the way they often do. Churches care about people. They want people to know the love of Christ. I know this. I'm not intending to be mean and overly critical.

But if you have a church sign, you have a great opportunity to communicate with your community every single week. So what do you really want to communicate?

I love churches. We're good people. We have the best message in the world. Let's just not allow that message to be dismissed and never given a hearing because of a goofy line on our church sign...

Once again, a church sign can be a powerful thing. Please use your powers for good. :-)

Here's Your [Church] Sign...

It has been a busy week heading into the Easter weekend, so I thought I'd post something that's just been lying dormant in my red spiral notebook (Not to be confused with my Un-wired-er Analog PDA Mind Map, mind you) for months, now.

What's the deal with Church Signs? For some reason, some of the goofiest stuff in the world can be found on the signs of churches. But I wish it weren't so.

Here are a few actual Church signs that I have seen with my own eyes, some as recently as last week. I've added some commentary in parentheses.

• On a broken down looking church that was converted from an old house - "Miracle Revival Center" (Looks like it could use a little of that. Physician, heal thyself..)

• On a stencilled black and white sign with picture of Jesus wearing a crown of bloody thorns - "This blood's for you!" (Bleh.)
  

• "The only Ghost in this house is holy!" (So your church is holy haunted?)
  

• "Jesus is healing the sick! The blind see! The deaf hear! ...Next Exit." (Call Ticket master now to reserve your seat! Cotton candy and peanuts available but optional!)
  

• "Somebody call 911 cause this church is on fire!" (Somebody get some butter cause this church is full of corn!)
  

• On a giant sign with lights and an arrow that was almost bigger than the one room church building - "Here's the Church you've been looking for!" (I'm guessing that's because it was so small and was behind the giant sign...)

• And one Kim saw just the other day - "Jesus is coming. Resistence is Futile!" (Yes. We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Spare yourself the hassle later, and visit us with your family this Sunday!)
  

• And my personal favorite - "This is missions month. Come on in!" (I thought missions was about...go... uh, hello?)
  

Generally speaking, these signs and many like them might as well just say, "We're kind of weird and we're not very bright...And we wanted you to know about it!"

Ok, I probably shouldn't be so harsh, here because I really believe that most of these churches probably mean well. They may actually think they are being clever. So I'm not meaning to sound so critical, it's just that cheesy church signs just drive me crazy.

As a church plant that meets in rented space, we don't have the luxury of a "24-7 personal billboard" for our Church. But if you have a permanent Church Sign, that is exactly what you have.

A Church sign with changeable lettering is an opportunity to "connect with" or annoy or anger or "draw in" or "make eyes roll" or "create interest" or "demonstrate cluelessness"...it's really up to you.

So I have some tips/suggestions for churches with permanent signs that I'll share in another post. Think of it as a "Public Service Announcement" for Churches with signs. Because A church sign can actually be a powerful thing. And I want you to use your powers for good.

But right now, I'm heading to bed.

So what are some of the goofiest things you've seen on church signs?

Read part 2 here: Suggestions For Better Church Signs