Friday, April 14, 2006

Here's Your [Church] Sign...

It has been a busy week heading into the Easter weekend, so I thought I'd post something that's just been lying dormant in my red spiral notebook (Not to be confused with my Un-wired-er Analog PDA Mind Map, mind you) for months, now.

What's the deal with Church Signs? For some reason, some of the goofiest stuff in the world can be found on the signs of churches. But I wish it weren't so.

Here are a few actual Church signs that I have seen with my own eyes, some as recently as last week. I've added some commentary in parentheses.
  • On a broken down looking church that was converted from an old house - "Miracle Revival Center" (Looks like it could use a little of that. Physician, heal thyself..)
  • On a stencilled black and white sign with picture of Jesus wearing a crown of bloody thorns - "This blood's for you!" (Bleh.)
  • "The only Ghost in this house is holy!" (So your church is holy haunted?)
  • "Jesus is healing the sick! The blind see! The deaf hear! ...Next Exit." (Call Ticket master now to reserve your seat! Cotton candy and peanuts available but optional!)
  • "Somebody call 911 cause this church is on fire!" (Somebody get some butter cause this church is full of corn!)
  • On a giant sign with lights and an arrow that was almost bigger than the one room church building - "Here's the Church you've been looking for!" (I'm guessing that's because it was so small and was behind the giant sign...)
  • And one Kim saw just the other day - "Jesus is coming. Resistence is Futile!" (Yes. We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Spare yourself the hassle later, and visit us with your family this Sunday!)
  • And my personal favorite - "This is missions month. Come on in!" (I thought missions was about...go... uh, hello?)
Generally speaking, these signs and many like them might as well just say, "We're kind of weird and we're not very bright...And we wanted you to know about it!"

Ok, I probably shouldn't be so harsh, here because I really believe that most of these churches probably mean well. They may actually think they are being clever. So I'm not meaning to sound so critical, it's just that cheesy church signs just drive me crazy.

As a church plant that meets in rented space, we don't have the luxury of a "24-7 personal billboard" for our Church. But if you have a permanent Church Sign, that is exactly what you have.

A Church sign with changeable lettering is an opportunity to "connect with" or annoy or anger or "draw in" or "make eyes roll" or "create interest" or "demonstrate cluelessness"'s really up to you.

So I have some tips/suggestions for churches with permanent signs that I'll share in another post. Think of it as a "Public Service Announcement" for Churches with signs. Because A church sign can actually be a powerful thing. And I want you to use your powers for good.

But right now, I'm heading to bed.

So what are some of the goofiest things you've seen on church signs?

Read part 2 here: Suggestions For Better Church Signs


Daniel said...

I’ve read about a few goofy church signs, some of which are;

"Prayer is the best wireless connection."

"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience."

"God answers knee mail,"

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers."

"Life Is Short: Pray Hard"

"A perfect church wouldn't have you. Join ours."

And one I especially like;

“Humbly grateful
Grumbly Hateful?”

Anonymous said...

how about...

Take a trip with us down the Roman Road.


Beat the Heat, get a front row seat...

yes, actual signs...saw long ago in Shreveport, LA

Anonymous said...

A church I attended once actually had on their sign... : Our Sunday's are better than Braum's! " PUHLEEZZE

Johnny Leckie said...

I never cease to be amazed.